Sunday, September 7, 2008

Vicarious Viking

an introductory letter
so can be assumed
entitled this is
for whoever to view

i am no-one
but an ordinary being
i have no interests
or so it seems

feelings and thoughts and things sublime
in this little head that i call mine
concoct a concoction none can chew
things to be heard and thoughts to be viewed

i present therefore with nofurther allude
my love for anything and everything anew

The Senseless Rant of A Diseased Mind

Thought you were in a bad mood today
Even if you werent this is here to stay :)
Something funny can never be sad!
Thats the reason the world's not all mad

Mad if they were geniuses we'd find
Like einstein and curie
who'd PLOP! every night!!!
Invent me this and invent me that
I wonder what their minds revolved that they come up with all crap!

Inventions and Discoveries onaaa-
whoooooooooooooooooo
o- Damn!
I fell Knee DEEP!

This is why you should look down when youre walking
And look when youre driving
And look in general because your eyes aint-awaking
Again lost in thoughts did i realise?
The ditch now seems to have engulfed my behind???

QUICKSAND! OH DAMN!
O- What - THE -Hell!
I havent even seen the us of states!!

Die if i today though.....
Damn..... I need someone to blame!

A Will i have none
Write i wanted to once!
Never realised id die before 22 though
Dont honey bees too go.. hmmmmmm?

A-will-i-am isnt he a rapper
Oh god my brains just such a crapper
What should i do?
CPR doesnt train you for this!
They should probably teach in school for situations as this!

Well if they can talk about the vegetation at nevada they can surely talk about ditches that kill!!!

Geography..
E-Yuck!

I hate how people even attempt its study
Its there -
In front of you
What the hell do you not see????

If its pine trees and apple groves
Its pine trees and apple groves
You dont need a reason for them to grow do you!
Be happy they exist
Now let them be
Dont try to plant them wherever space's freee!!!

O-what O-what do i do with this head of mine
Maybe this is what all you think before you die
They say your life flashes before your eyes
This I- tell you though is one of a kind

Maybe i was destined to fall in this ditch
Spiritual Insanity
I hear its an abyss!

Oh Blah! Bah! Beep and Boo
I tend to mutter incoherently when i dont know what to do
Dude! someone save this chick from this quicksand of a ditch!
Her brain forever rattles in-sense
Good for you, aint it?
To feel intel- ligent!


Is that a horses trot- i scent
I wonder how I took riding lessons in that wormhole of a vent
Trot-Trot that steed -bugy- went
Fucked my tail bone i tell you
Im not too sure if im still a virgin!!

Education nowadays.....!
Now there's something to blame
Before i meander in my thoughts wasnt there a steed down the lane?

Help Help! Help this poor sole!
hee hee- i swear my shoe size is more than 4

A fairy tale comes true!
My knight in shining armour awaits!!
Oh wait he's stopped!
Umm....I think he found some food

Food over damsel thats one of a kind
I tell you seriously the world today, divine!

Rescue-Rescue this little damsel tonight
'll give you certain gifts that you may never find
I'll be your hand, your legs and will churn out those eggs!
Till sunny side-up! is creamy with hot keggs!!

Neeeiigh! or Barf!
I dunno how a horse sound translates
Ave! what the hell-
My knight in shining armour is here to save

Oh my god
It must be a disguise
The knight ew! - Its only al-gore!
humph humph
Aah Oh well!
A fairy tale indeed
I wish though he doesn't feed me to a boar......

Alphaq-uill

When lifes fast paced
You sit back and relax
Watch it go by
Leaving you in shacks

Fool you'd be to let it go
Soon you'll see it'd been better so
Had you been quick enough to leave the rest behind
And walk on laziness, all over in mind
aah screw it
sleeps a-sound
snores a-bliss
that can hardly be found

I daresay I write today
With dwelling compromise
and sweet taste
About all the thoughts and retorts in mind
I cant believe I left them all behind

Lets start with the stock
That thinks im getting 'whiter' in flock
"pale you'll be,
as you can see,
as white as can be for a eucalyptus' stalk"

Fools you idiots!
Dont you realise
Sweat out the heat
Dont hide the fight!

Living in a.c.'s
Ha! What d'ya think!?
Get fat and round and podgy with meat rings!

You need to exercise in this day and age
Driving my baby is an elephants game
One hour on roads you're soon to realise
You have muscles and biceps to which you didnt say hi

Sweat it out
Its the summer
Winters will come
When you'll need to cover
Go out in the sun!

Embrace its heat
Dont squint your eyes
Or burn your knees ahem
Just put them later in ice

Dont put sun-scream
Let the sun pour out
As if there arent enough people to scream and shout

Whiter you'll get d'uh
When the pores sweat-it-out
Dont blame me then
Or think i advertise for those fair and lovely scowls

Time is of the essence
And i prefer to sit at home
Glued to a screen
That refuses to say hello
Whats wrong with that
You go live your life
Its not yours to give anyway
So dont you dare take mine :P

Entertainment ahem
Is not sitting and chatting
Please im not wasting my money on a sandwich and coffee!

Some people just know how to live their lives
Phillipe Cousteau!
a wonderboy! Ever since 9!
Ave i drool over your tragedies and achievements
For now, save later you'll be hearing me on wiki-sins

Foolish you old hag
Ahem! Im referring to the Sun
all bright and sunny
You still think you're that young!?

You'd have made my life easier
Thats for sure!
Sweating it out in the heat
As opposed a cold shore

Ha! I swear someday
I'll invent something
That'll cover me earth
With a blanket from your sin

o.O wait!
We're already halfway there!
Cya! Old sucker
Find a new place to glare!!!

The Road Most Travelled



This is my favorite road to my home sweet home. Sadly they're widening it and cutting down all the trees that flank it! Tsk... Since all efforts to curb such madness were terribly gunned down, I deliver a final ode to this beauty.. With in the rush playing in the background.. Quite apt if you think about it...

I shall miss my narrow escapes and accidents.
Farewell..

Post - Scriptum : Sorry about the shakes, though considering the curves and the turns and the road condition AND that I was driving And shooting, I think i did a decent job!!

After Thought : God Bless Camera phones.

Pleasant Surprise































You're having one of those really wrotten days and something comes up that makes you forget it all? Naah that didnt happen with me but usually things like these happen on days like that!

Anyway.. So i was having a perfectly awesome day after having beat up my boss in a duel (He's crazy. Keeps playing pranks and a big time trouble maker- Thinks he's 20!) and getting an amazing bike ride at a soaring speed to a place halfway close to my home after which I get to wait for an auto driver who would be willing to take me back home! Chivalry is not even a topic to be discussed. I hate the whole ordeal haggling with the guy, giving him exact directions to where you want to reach- missing out three other auto's in the process, only to get him stating a rate which would make you want to jump into a reality gaming program and slit his throat in half! (Letting my emotions not take control of me..moving on) So i finally found this really old auto driver who was probably older than my grandfather to say We'll go by the meter and you can go wherever you want! -In hindi ofcourse. Aah a sigh of relief...! Though i must say the speed at which we were moving id rather have walked! Nevertheless it was nice and smooth all the way..

My attention keept turning to uncle's face. It seemed vaguely familiar with a slight resemblance to a pixie and well Dev Anand. And pushing this thought aside wasn't really the easiest thing to do ergo- my random burst of auto pictures. Ofcourse none of them came out right- what do you expect with a camera phone and delhi roads?

At the end of the journey i couldn't keep it in any longer- I don't know what went through me but I didn't hesistate to give uncle double the price that was displayed on the rickety meter.

The conversation- translated thereon-
Me: Please keep this
Uncle (U): Why?
Me: Coz you were the first to get me home at a terribly reasonable rate and you didn't hesitate to get me here either!
U: This is awfully generous of you! But i don't want to accept it. I just did my job
Me: At this point my stone heart had melted soo much that I half considered taking him to dinner or giving him a bigger note (which sadly of all the days I wasn't carrying) I just could muster a meek : Please keep this, its the least I could do for you today.
U:Little girl, you've made me so happy today. Please do tell what may I do for you?
Me: (Jumping at the opportunity) How about you striking a pose for me? Your face bears an essence of familiarity I would love to capture.
U: This is nothing! In my youth I was the Dev Anand lookalike! (No kidding!!!!)
Me: No kidding!!!

Anyway what followed through was half an hour of both of us singing to old hindi numbers and him reliving his childhood days! Aah what fun! I think I'll start traveling by public transport more often.. There are very interesting people to meet I say!
Later when I'm not too tired sitting in front of the computer screen I'll re-write this a bit (maybe!) with more details......

Hail Mr. V.K. Sharma! I drink to you today before i sleep :)




The love letter to my Boss

So my boss, Who i've already mentioned once before, is a downright prankster. I thought i was defying the laws of age acting like a little kid with all the crap i keep doing throughout the day but he's worse..Waaaaay worse! In a good way coz its shit loads of fun. Heh!

One fine day it happened by sheer luck and coincidence that the desktop i was sitting on crashed completely. It just stopped working! and i had to go upto him and tell him that that had happened.. nobody likes admitting their mistakes, even if it wasnt a mistake- it was my desktop atleast.. So it had to be replaced, obviously- work goes on. After 2 days this new cpu (the replaced one) crashed too!!! Now this was terrible for my repute but i had to fight back every urge and be adamant that it wasnt my fault which i did which led to 'Him', my boss, calling me Virus.. Just Great...

As if this wasnt enough i pointed out infront of him- Unne yeh kaha.
The conversation thereafter-
"kinne kya?"
me- "uff- unne, kaha tha ki yeh aesa hoga"
him- "Unne yeh kaha"
me- "haan"
him- "okay Unne"

Thats when it dawned upon, the mistake. Anyway long story short (not that its really short now) I was nicknamed Unne Virus finally.. After months of progression- Nish to Virus to Chipmonk to Unne to Unne Virus to U.V.

So this is what i wrote to him one day as a retort-

All is happy in this little town, Sunshine
All but for one who plans to take over the rhyme!
He is vicious and cruel, Can beat anyone in a duel
I wonder if he ever truly paid a dozen or dime!

Plans he had to take over the world
Limited though he got in the town's wind-whirl
Success he wanted at any cost, to achieve
At expense of maybe every tom, dick or Har-Rie

Vengeance he sought, For what! Noone knows
Though most of what he did was for the love of a joke!
Hardly though this seems worthy of one
People's lives are at stake here
We should probably introduce to him the definition of FUN!!

Anyway lets get back to that fateful day
I forget which year, the month or the date
To the laboratory he'd built for himself, a fortress!
Chemical reactions wherein were never put to a rest

Alas! At-Last the evil emerged!!
From within the depths of the deepest black swirl
Its dark and frightening
ITS TAKING A FORM!
Boogie Man would be scared of him!!
But maybe not Santa Claus...

Has he achieved the ultimate?
The penultimate of destruction??
What day was foretold for holocaust or resurrection!?
For surely we could use a Jesus tonight
To save this town from its evident plight

As if this wasnt enough, he devices a plan
Clever he is!
Must admit traits of every man!

He spreads the NEWS!
Now thats one of a kind
That 'in order to survive you need this antigen of mine!
The world is in danger, Anthrax Attacks!
The only way out is this black tablet for a dime'

Lines and lines pile up outside
People believe anything
Its so easy to trick the mind!

Soon the whole town now would have bought
The black tablet that would kill them eventually till they rot
How gruesome How sick
Could one man possibly be!
To do such things to a fellow human being?!

He announces to Sunshine his mischief and trick
Aghast and Shocked, thus in Disbelief they sit
Poor little souls couldn't see this coming
Panic now strikes! Anguish a-running!

When all hopes lost
Its written in the Bible
Will shine a new star
That will guide the people

In comes the antidote- the cure
Heaven Sent
Takes the form of a pretty girl
An instantaneous messiah from god himself!

Takes she does all hearts by storm
Soon she has all the people listen to her ser-mon
Tells them, she does, that she'll spread a virus a-kin
To the 'antidote' that was given
Terminating the evil reactions within
'It'll attack the virus
You'll be saved my friends
Just take this white and sleep through the rest'

Ms. Unne's Virus saved this town from a sin!
Sunshine was saved from the plight of Evil Doctor Gin

(To safeguard his identity
a Respect still prevails
His truth shall be kept a secret
Though we all know his Name)

What happened hence can only be imagined
Gins Unhealthy! Transports to another dimension!
Drink it too much and you're out for the night
Here though, he was out of our very Lives!

Farewell as we bade to the Evil Dr.Gin
With no signs of remorse, Maybe a slight Grin
We made him repeat the meaning of Fun
A lesson though now thoroughly we've learnt,
Never listen to STRANGE-rs on Earth, My son
You never know who tries to take away your life little one

All in all the little town Sunshine is safe
And we owe it all to Unne Virus, who saved the day.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Faces in Places



Got inspired by the blog faces in places...heh!